Captain Zurg, Admiral Hades, their Pirates, and the Krookodile/Dreamland's Greatest Criminal Minds
(In Dreamland, which is a beautiful small island, at a beachside of a south lagoon, a small beige, white, and brown furred saber-toothed squirrel with big bug eyes and a big poofy squirrel tail is walking around anxiously, carrying an acorn, hoping to find a spot to bury it for storage. His name is Scrat. Anyway, he noticed a twig and grunts a little, trying to pull it out, but after pulling and pulling, he couldn’t get it out. So, he shrugged and bites at the twig. Suddenly, it squeaks, surprising Scrat. Then the “twig” emerged, revealed to be a medium-sized crab, bigger than Scrat, and the “twig” was actually the crab’s antenna. A short pause, then Scrat screamed and ran away. Then he sprinted back to his acorn he left behind and grabbed it. Then he noticed the crab glaring daggers at him, making him nervous. He chuckled nervously, and was about to run away, when the crab pinched his tail, making Scrat let out a blood-curdling scream. Then the crab spun him around and around like a lasso, which during this Scrat held onto his acorn for dear life, and then the crab threw him across the lagoon like a skipping rock. Scrat, still holding onto his acorn, skipped and skipped across the water until he crashed into a side of a rock and sank into the water. Snapping out of it, Scrat noticed his acorn floating away, so he rapidly swam to it, trying to get to it while screaming in frustration. But lo, after Scrat and his acorn were gone, we then see that it was no rock that he just crashed into, it was in fact a huge ship. And not just any ship, it was a pirate ship. And on board, all the pirates are heard singing) Pirates: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life A-rovin’ over the sea Give me a career As a buccaneer It’s the life of a pirate for me Oh, a life of a pirate for me (On the ship, there were various villains on board, doing their usual business such as swabbing the deck and doing busy things, and they were Captain Zurg and Admiral Hades’ crew. And here comes the introductions. There is a purple creature called a Nome with a bald head with long violet blue hair and a long violet blue sideburn-like beard, violet blue eyebrows, a big dark purple nose, small elf-like ears, and is wearing a gold crown with emeralds, a magenta king robe, a black and red miner king-like outfit, red gloves, and long brown boots. He is Ruggedo the Nome King, the greedy miner of the crew who is allergic to eggs. The second crew member is a man with short dark brown chin-length hair, a small scar on his left cheek, and a gold yellow left eye, and wearing a black eye patch on his scarred right eye, a red neck bandana, a gray long-sleeved tunic, white gloves, gray pants, and black boots. He is Braig, the smart-aleck sharpshooter of the crew. The third crew member is a magenta colored virus-like creature with dark magenta hair locks, yellow eyes, and a long red nail/saber-like claw on his left index finger as his weapon, and is wearing a black trench coat, black pants, black boots, and sometimes wore black sunglasses. He is Thrax, the chemist/doctor/bounty hunter of the crew. The fourth crew member is a mutant warthog with light brown fur, a purple mohawk with a ponytail, and is wearing purple sunglasses, a white hoop nose-ring in his nostrils, a bone and skull necklace, a red vest, a brown bullet shoulder sling, a gray spiky bracelet on the right wrist, a chain bracelet on the left wrist, two dark yellow turtle shell shoulder armor on his shoulders, black pants, a chain belt with a cuff-like buckle around the waist, a gray band around the left leg, and red and white shoes. He is Bebop, a bumbling brawny punk warthog mutant. The fifth crew member is a mutant rhino with dark gray skin, a light gray nose horn, yellow eyes, and is wearing a yellow tanktop with the belly sticking out, a brown wooden plank weapon holdster carried on his back, a brown bullet shoulder sling, brown wristbands, tan brown pants, a brown belt with a gray square-shaped buckle around the waist, a dark yellow turtle shell pouch on the right side of his belt, and brown boots. He is Rocksteady, Bebop’s bumbling punk mutant rhino partner. The sixth crew member is a humanoid brown and beige-furred lion with a black mane, and green eyes with a scar on his left eye, and is wearing blue pants. He is Scar, the hunter of the crew. The seventh, eighth, and ninth crew members are three hyenas, one female and two males. They are Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed respectively, Scar’s bumbling henchmen who loves to eat. The tenth crew member is a muscular human-like manta ray wearing a blue manta ray-like helmet with red eyes and a red mouth, a red bodily suit with blue undies, blue gloves, and blue boots. He is Man Ray, the fighter of the crew. The eleventh crew member is a muscular humanoid penguin with black and white feathers, slate blue feathers on the head, and a dark orange beak with a red tip on the nose, pale orange webbed feet, and is wearing a red cape, and black pants with a light lavender sash with a yellow buckle. He is Drake, the brute muscle member of the crew and a self-proclaimed lady’s man. The twelfth crew member is a mutant chimpanzee with a huge brain sticking out of his head, black fur, green skin, pink eyes, and is wearing a white helmet over his brain with purple one zigzag lines around it and a metal rim with purple jewels around it, blue sleeveless tunic, a white belt with a purple upside-down triangle buckle, white gloves, a big purple cape, and white boots. He is Mojo Jojo, the inventor of the crew. The thirteenth crew member is a pink furry creature with a light orange skin on the face, a big green nose, two gray pom-poms on the two black stringed antennas, and is wearing blue overalls, and brown boots. He is Fuzzy Lumpkins, a temperamental brute force and banjo player of the crew. The fourteenth crew member is a red demon-like creature with green eyes, short black headwear like a swimcap, a black curly goatee, and dark red lobster-like claws, and is wearing a blood red sleeveless tunic with pink curly rims, a black belt with an orange buckle, and black leg length boots. He is Him, the manipulating, riddle-maker member of the crew with a high feminine-like demon voice when happy or sad, and a deep menacing demon voice when angry. The fifteenth crew member is a white-skinned woman with long black snake-like hair, freckles on her cheeks, green eyes, and red lips, and is wearing a red sleeveless jumpsuit with black leg netting, red arm gloves, and red long boots. She is Sedusa, the greedy seductress and treasure hunter of the crew. The sixteenth crew member is a little girl with red curly hair tied in curly pigtailed buns, has freckles on her cheeks, and is wearing a gold crown with a red jewel, a yellow sleeveless dress with a black lining, black long gloves, white stockings, and black boots. She is Princess Morbucks, the rich greedy loudmouthed spoiled brat of the crew. The seventeenth crew member is a human with a huge orange pumpkin for a head with yellow eyes and is wearing a purple scarecrow-like hat with a dark purple rim with a red feather sticking out, a white tunic with a dark gray belt with a gray buckle, light purple gloves, purple leggings, dark lavender 17th century shoes, and sometimes carries a scythe-like sword. He is Jack O’ Lantern, the prankster member of the crew. The eighteenth crew member is a silver metallic robot with light blue eyes, and is wearing a silver metallic business clothes and a red metal tie. He is Ratchet, another inventor of the crew. The nineteenth crew member is a humanoid red-furred fox wearing a light yellow floppy farmer hat, a pale green long-sleeved shirt, a green vest, and dark green pants. He is Brer Fox, the hunter and chef of the crew. The twentieth crew member is a big brown furred bear wearing a red hat, a blue long-sleeved jacket, and sometimes carried a wooden club. He is Brer Bear, the dimwitted, yet temperamental, brute member of the crew and Brer Fox’s henchman. The twenty-first crew member is a big anthro black cat with peach skin on the face almost similar to a bulldog, and is wearing a pair of blue, purple, yellow, and gray fingerless gloves, red short-sleeved shirt underneath a blue, black, gray, and purple armor. He is Pete, the other brute fighter of the crew. And the last crew member is a middle aged man with a bald head with grayish brown sideburn hair, and wearing a tan cowboy-like hat, a blue long-sleeved button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, brown pants, and black shoes. He is Lasombra, the treasure hunter of the crew. Anyway, once the crew was done doing their works, they, except Brer Fox and Brer Bear, went up to a Captain’s headquarter door with a crude drawing of their captain on it in an angry mood. The reason why they are angry: They want to leave Dreamland and forget about killing Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas and they are sick of being stuck on the island. As they sang, they began to angrily throw knives at the drawing on the door) Pirates: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life They never bury your bones For when it’s all over A jolly sea roger Drops in on his friend Davy Jones Oh.... (Then, the door opens to three amoeba-like creatures, two little demon imps, and a blue-skinned man. The man has yellow eyes, short dark blue hair and a beard and chin goatee and is wearing a purple and red armor, and a gray metallic arm consisting some weapons, including a flamethrower. He is Warp Darkmatter, Zurg’s loyal lackey and first mate to him and Hades. The three amoeba-like creatures with Warp are teal-colored, and the leader is wearing a gray fedora with a black band, the tall skinny one is wearing a brown fedora with a black band, and the small one is wearing a black beret hat worn backwards. They are the Amoeba Boys, the dimwitted, brainless gangsters and Zurg and Hades’ second, third, and fourth mates. The first demon imp with them is a chubby purple imp with a tiny red nose, dark purple tiny demon horns on his head, small dark purple bat wings, with the right side wing with a bite mark on it, a dark purple demon tail, and yellow eyes. He is Pain, Hades’ henchman and Zurg and Hades’ fifth mate. The other demon imp is a skinny bluish green imp with a long thorn-like nose, pointy ears, small dark bluish bat wings, a dark bluish green demon tail, and yellow eyes. He is Panic, Pain’s partner and Zurg and Hades’ sixth mate. As they exited the captain and admiral’s headquarters, with Pain carrying a tray with a shaving kit, they finished singing the song with the pirates too) Mates and pirates: Oh, my good friend Davy Jones (Unaware of how angry the crew is, Warp, Pain, Panic, and the Amoeba Boys greeted them happily) Pain and Panic: Good morning, shipmates! Warp: It’s a beautiful morning! Amoeba Boys: Yeah! (Suddenly, Pete, Bebop, and Rocksteady roughly yanked Warp up to him) Pete: And what’s good about it, Warp, Pain, Panic, and Amoeba Boys?! Bebop: (Snorts) Especially when we’re on this island? Rocksteady: Yeah, there’s nothing good about it! (The three tossed Warp aside, bumping him into Pain and Panic. Ruggedo then grabbed Panic and Thrax pointed his claw at Panic’s belly) Thrax: Here we are, collecting barnacles on this miserable island! Ruggedo: Not to mention no booty to steal whatsoever! (They released Panic. As Panic was about to recover, his nose got caught in Fuzzy’s gun) Fuzzy: While his captainship and admiralship plays ring around the rosy with Sora Pan! Shenzi: And one of his Lost Tiny Toon friends of his is more annoying than a talking macaw. Banzai: Heck, one time they beat us, that friend wouldn’t shut up on his gloating on us! Scar: Especially with him still saying “dadgum.” (Ed giggled a little in agreement) Banzai: It’s not funny, Ed, but I agree with you. Panic: Look out there, it might go off! (Panic freed his nose from Fuzzy’s gun and stumbled back) Warp: Well, excuse us for…! (Suddenly, Sedusa tied Warp, Pain, Panic, and the Amoeba Boy’s necks up with her snake-like hair strands and barely hung them) Sedusa: We want to get back to the business of looting ships! (After dropping them with her hair, Ratchet and Lasombra then came up to them with their machetes) Lasombra: Why, I even almost forgot to slit a throat! Ratchet: Especially when it comes to making our enemies like scrap metal! (They sliced their machetes in the air as if slitting a throat in front of Warp, Pain, Panic, and the Amoeba Boys, who recovered. After recovering, Warp, Pain, Panic, and the Amoeba Boys glared at them) Warp: Why not lash out at the captain and the admiral instead about your problems?! Pain: That way…. Mojo Jojo: Because they will punish us with death! Princess Morbucks: Especially with Hades' pet three-headed monster, Cerberus! Drake: I don’t like to be beast bait at all! Him: (High feminine voice) Me neither. It wouldn’t be pleasant (In demonic voice) to be eaten! Amoeba Bossman: So what?! Go talk to him! Amoeba Slim: About what? Amoeba Shorty: Yeah, about what? Amoeba Bossman: (Trying to remember) Um, uh, about, uh…. Warp: (To himself) Oy vey. (To the Amoeba Boys) About leaving, that’s what! Amoeba Bossman: Leaving where? Pain: Leaving Dreamland. Panic: Yeah. Amoeba Bossman: Oh yeah. We knew that. Warp: (Under his breath) Sure you did. Jack: (Throwing his knife at them) Then you better drop it to them! (Warp, Pain, Panic, and the Amoeba Boys dodged the knife. Then the crew began throwing their knives at them, making them dodge them too as they hurried up the stairs) Pete: Tell him we want to go back to sea, see?! (On “see,” he throws his dagger at Pain and Panic, but the two imps dodged, but after the last knife hit the side of a barrel, the lid of the barrel flipped off, landed on Panic, sending him flying into Pain’s rear end with ear-like horns poking him there. Pain screeched in pain) Jack: (Sarcastically) Oops! Sorry if we poked your booty, and I don’t mean treasure for once! (He and the pirates laugh sneeringly at the joke. After painfully pulling Panic off his rear, Pain, Warp, the Amoeba Boys, and even Panic, glared at the pirates. They then secretly stuck their tongues out at them and walked away with Pain still carrying the shaving kit tray. Once on the way to their captain and admiral, they began talking) Panic: The crew is so immature! Pain: I agree! Warp: (Mockingly) “Sorry if we poked your booty.” (In his real angry voice) Who does he and the crew think they are?! Brooklyn-accented voice: Let me guess. They picked on you again? (They stopped and noticed five green creatures. The first one is a tall skinny green 17 year old boy with short black hair, and is wearing black sunglasses, red, white, and blue striped wristbands, a blue and orange ski vest over a white baseball shirt with long purple sleeves, yellow pants, and black shoes. He is Ace D. Copular, leader of the Gangreen Gang and Zurg and Hades’ seventh mate. The second is a snake-like green 15 year old boy with a spiky nose, short black chin-length hair, pink eyes, black lips, a dark green forked tongue, and black catlike pupils, and is wearing a brown Kangol hat, a white tanktop with black rims and a yellow stripe around the torso, black and yellow striped wristbands, orange shorts, white socks, and black and white converse shoes. He is Sanford D. Ingleberry AKA Snake, the slippery member of the Gangreen Gang and Zurg and Hades’ eighth mate, who speaks like a snake and is always Ace’s punching bag whenever he accidentally falls out of line. The third is a short green 14 year old midget boy with a Spanish accent, short black emo-like hair covering his left eye, and is wearing a red shirt over a white long-sleeve shirt, black pants and black shoes. He is Li'l Arturo de la Guerra, the shortest member of the Gangreen Gang and Zurg and Hades’ ninth mate. The fourth is an ape-like green 15 year old boy with an oval-shaped head, snail-like eyes, short black hair, and a tongue lolling out of his mouth, and is wearing a dark red ripped shirt, and brown ripped pants with a rope tied around the waist for support. He is Grubber J. Gribberish, the gross member of the Gangreen Gang and Zurg and Hades’ tenth mate who has a talent to imitate people. The last one is a huge fat green 15 year old boy with short orange hair covering his blue cyclops eye and a buck tooth, and is wearing a dark green shirt with two yellow striped rims on the sleeves with the belly sticking out, blue pants with the ankle rims rolled up, a black belt with a yellow buckle, and black and white shoes. He is Big William W. Williams AKA Big Billy, the brawny member of the Gangreen Gang and Zurg and Hades’ eleventh mate. Anyway, the other mates recognized them casually) Warp: Yeah. Amoeba Slim: Treated like garbage, Ace. Snake: I sssaw the whole thing with Pain and Panic. It wassss kind of funny! (Snake hissed laughed a little like a snake. Ace glared daggers at him) Ace: Funny, eh? (He turned to the other Gangreen Gang members) Ace: Big Billy, do you think it’s funny like Snake does? Big Billy: Duh, no way. Ace: (To Billy) Good. (To Grubber) Do you, Grubber, think it’s funny? (Grubber replies “no” with just a raspberry) Ace: (To Grubber) Good. (To Arturo) Li’l Arturo, what about you? Arturo: (Laughs in agreement) Nope. Ace: (To Arturo) Good. (To Snake) And do you think it’s still funny like you said? Snake: Yesss, a little. (Ace smacks Snake, making him change his answer) Snake: I meanssss no. It’sss not funny, Bossssss. Ace: Exactly. Nobody, I mean nobody, makes fun of our mates like the other crew members do. Right? Snake: (Agreeing with a smile) Yessss, Bossssss. Warp: Anyway, let’s just go talk to the captain and the admiral about this and they’ll stop! Panic: Ooh…. Warp: What, Panic? Panic: Admiral Hades will not be happy when he finds out what we’re telling him. Pain: You mean if he finds out. Amoeba Bossman: (Confused) Finds out what? Panic: Yeah, but…. (Thinks it over and agrees) ''“If.” “If” is good. ''(Pain nods in agreement and they, along with Warp and the Amoeba Boys, continued to their captain and admiral with the Gangreen Gang going with them. On the top deck of the ship, the captain himself is reading a map of Dreamland on his desk with a gray skinned man looking with him. The captain is a purple and gray robot-like man with red eyes, yellow metallic teeth, gray horns on top of his head, red stripes, and wearing a black cape with the interior colored dark red and has a silver hook in place of his left robotic hand. He is Evil Emperor Zurg, or Captain Zurg as he’s called here, and he is not only likes to talk in sarcasm sometimes, but he also insults people and is very temperamental. The gray skinned man with him has blue flames as his hair that turn red when angry, for he is temperamental like Zurg, yellow eyes, and is wearing a dark gray, black, and slate gray short-sleeved Greek robe with a small gray skull button holding it closed and on the ground where his feet is supposed to be is some swirls of black smoke acting as his feet. He is Hades, admiral of the pirate crew and the Lord of the Underworld who talks smooth-like like a negotiator on deals and sometimes speaks in sarcasm. Anyway, Zurg and Hades got annoyed and angry while they read the Dreamland map on the desk) Zurg: Blast that Sora Pan, and his friends, Riku and Roxas, too! Hades: I completely agree, Cap. If only we could find their hideout, we’d trap them in there! Zurg: I know, Hades, but where is it? Hades: Hmm, Mermaid Lagoon? No, we searched there already. And we combed Omnivore Cove. (Hades suddenly noticed a spot on the map’s western part of the island) Hades: (Pointing at it) How about here? Zurg: No, no! That’s Siamese ter...! (Hades suddenly stopped him and began to change his mind) Hades: But what if we…? (He whispers in Zurg’s ear, if he has any, and Zurg smiled evilly on this) Zurg: Wait a minute. That’s it. Good idea, Hades. Those elephant-loving know-it-alls know this island than we do on our own ship. (He and Hades began to ponder) Zurg: I wonder.... Hades: Yeah…. (Then, Warp, Pain, Panic, the Gangreen Gang, and the Amoeba Boys arrived as Pain placed the shaving kit tray on a nearby barrel. Zurg and Hades, while still thinking of an idea, noticed them briefly) Warp: Good morning, Captain and Admiral! Pain and Panic: It’s a beautiful morning! Amoeba Boys: Yeah Ace: Same thing you said before to the crew. (The Gangreen Gang giggled in agreement with Ace. Suddenly, Zurg and Hades got an idea that they shouted out, startling the mates) Zurg: I got it! Hades: Yes! Perfect! What is it? (The captain and admiral turned to the mates) Zurg: We’ll ask Tuptim and Prince Chulalongkorn! Pain: (Confused) Wait, Tuptim and Chula-whatsie, Captain and Admiral? Zurg: It’s Chulalongkorn, not Chula-whatsie, you dimwit. (The mates gave confused looks) Hades: Oy, you know, King Mongkut’s eldest son. And Tuptim is also that king’s servant girl and the son’s girlfriend. Zurg: They’ll know where Sora, Riku, and Roxas are hiding. (The Gangreen Gang, except Ace, and the Amoeba Boys, however were unsure of this) Ace: Cool idea! Snake: But what makesssss you think they’ll talk? Arturo: If I recall correctly, they’re both Sora, Riku, and Roxas’ amigos. Ace: Shut up, you wimps! Hades: (Shrugging them off) Meh, a little persuasion can help. Zurg: Now, what torture shall we think of? Amoeba Bossman: Boiling in oil? Zurg: Nah, too hot. (To Hades) No offense. Hades: None taken. Billy: How about keelhauling? Zurg: No! We’re not injuring them! Warp: I know of a perfect torture! Zurg: (Sarcastically) Why am I not surprised? Warp: How about marooning? Zurg: No! Hades: That’s stupid. (They suddenly got an idea) Zurg: I know! We’ll try marooning them! Hades: My sentiments, exactly! (Warp groans while slapping his hand on his forehead in annoyance, for it was his idea. Suddenly, they heard a Southern accented voice singing badly. They looked up and saw near the crow’s nest Brer Bear singing badly while playing on his accordion. Next to him, Brer Fox is covering his ears with his hat to block out the horrible singing) Brer Bear: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life You’ll find adventure and sport But late every minute For all that is in it (Even Zurg and Hades was annoyed by the bad singing. Warp, Pain, Panic, the Amoeba Boys, and the Gangreen Gang on the other hand just ignored their bad singing. Brer Fox gestured Zurg and Hades to make Brer Bear stop) Brer Bear: The life of a pirate Is shoooooooort Oh, the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... (Getting Brer Fox’s gestures, Zurg pulled his gun out and Hades conjured up a fireball and they both shot the accordion out of Brer Bear’s hands, making it fall into the water, splashing Ace in the process) Ace: (Through gritted teeth) I hate getting wet! (Snake laughed at him at first until Ace smacked him, making him stop. Brer Bear shouted down to Zurg and Hades in anger) Brer Bear: Hey! What’s the big idea?! I was just singing a song here! I was just almost done when you shot at me! Zurg: Well, next time, sing better! Hades: And deal with it! (Angrily, Brer Bear, while climbing down with Brer Fox, climbed down to the other side of the ship as well while they talked) Brer Bear: I don’t understand why they didn’t just shout at me not to annoy them instead of shooting my accordion. I rather go and knock someone’s head clean off! Brer Fox: Like who? Someone in our crew? Last time you did that to Fuzzy, he gave you a good uppercut and we had to break up the fight between you two knuckleheads! Brer Bear: I did not like it when Fuzzy uppercutted me. Brer Fox: “Uppercutted” is not the right word! Brer Bear: Then let me rephrase it. I did not like it when Fuzzy punched me. Brer Fox: Now what you just rephrased is much better. Brer Bear: Thank you, Brer Fox. (During their conversation, Ace rolled his eyes in annoyance secretly while stifling a laugh, for he knew their physical and verbal arguments and conversations can be confusing and annoying. After they were gone, Zurg puts the gun away and changed the subject with Hades) Zurg: Now, where were we? Hades: Before we were interrupted…. Pain: Wow, Captain Zurg and Admiral Hades. Shooting the accordion out of Brer Bear’s hands in the middle of his cadenza? Amoeba Bossman: (Laughs) That ain’t good form, you know. (Panic got shocked on what Amoeba Bossman said and tried to shush him, but it was too late. Zurg and Hades heard him and turned to them calmly at first) Zurg: Good form, Pain? Hades: You don’t say? (They got angry and Zurg knocked the desk over while Hades bursted into angry flames) Hades: Blast good form! (Zurg waves his hook in front of the mates angrily while Hades went up to them in red flames, showing four old teeth mark scratches on his left arm) Zurg: Did Sora Pan show good form when he did this to us?! Hades: AND IT HURT, TOO!! (Pain tried to calm them down in an apologetic way) Pain: Aw, Captain, Admiral. (Giggles) Sora cutting the captain’s hand off and getting the admiral’s arm injured were only a couple of childish pranks. Snake: In fact, he did to ssssssave hissssss friendsssss from you. Ace: (Smacking Snake) Don’t make it worse! Zurg: Yeah, well, he then threw my hand to that red alligator Pokemon named Krookodile! Hades: And after he ate it, one chomp from his chewing scarred my arm, due to that brat kicking me down to him, and bit my pet, Cerberus! Zurg: And ever since then, that accursed beast, not to be confused with Cerberus, liked the taste of me, Hades, and my pet so well, he’s been following us, licking his chops for the rest of me mostly. (As he and Hades ranted about this, Zurg took off his cape and walked around while Hades calmed down and his flames turned blue. Warp tried to seat him in a chair and cover him with a blanket, but he kept missing. Finally, when Zurg and Hades finished, Warp seated Zurg in the chair and covered him in the blanket) Warp: And he would’ve had you, the Admiral, and Cerberus by now, Captain. If he hadn’t swallowed the alarm clock. Arturo: But when he is now near, he’ll warn you immediately with his tick-tock, tick-tocking. (As he said “tick-tock, tick-tocking” while Panic starting to prepare the shaving kit, the sound of ticking is heard nearby. Hades and the mates got surprised that he is coming now on cue, while Zurg got a fearful look on his face. Then, from beneath the water, near the ship, a big red alligator-like Ground/Dark type Pokemon emerged, looking up at Zurg and Hades. That is Krookodile, the said Pokemon that is after Zurg, Hades, and Cerberus because of their delicious tastes, but mostly for Zurg. As the captain shook in fear, the Krookodile licked his lips hungrily while drooling) Zurg: Guys.... GUYS!!!! (He jumped off the chair and cowered behind Hades and the mates) Hades: Hey! Zurg: Save me! Don’t let him get me! Go! Do something, now! I beg of you! (Hades, while rolling his eyes, and the mates went up the railing) Amoeba Slim: What should we say to that Krookodile? Amoeba Shorty: Yeah, what? Amoeba Bossman: Uh, I think we say “No way, Jose!” Hades: (Getting angry) Oh, for gosh sakes! (Calmed down) We’ll handle this. (Then Hades and the mates, except the Amoeba Boys, scolded the Krookodile) Ace: Now listen up, you! You should be ashamed of yourself! Gangreen Gang except Ace: Yeah! Warp: Who do you think you are scaring our captain? Hades: There’ll be no handouts today! Pain: Yeah, beat it! Panic: Please? (The Krookodile then begged like a dog. Hades and the mates, except the Amoeba Boys, then shouted things like “Shoo now!” or “Go away!” and finally “Get out of here!” and the Krookodile glared at them and swam away. Cowering behind a chair, Zurg took a peek) Zurg: Is he gone? Snake: Yeah, Captain. All clear. (Grubber blew his raspberry in agreement) Billy: Nothing to worry about. Amoeba Bossman: We did good telling off the Krookodile. Amoebas Slim and Shorty: Yeah! Panic: But you three didn’t do anything at all. Amoeba Bossman: Do what? (Hades rolled his eyes at the Amoeba Boys’ stupidity. Zurg comes out of hiding, but is still shaking in fear) Zurg: But guys, I can’t stand it anymore! I can’t! (The Amoeba Boys calm him down as they seated him in the chair again and covered him in the blanket again) Amoeba Bossman: Now, relax, Captain. What you need is a shave. (Amoeba Slim then wrapped a towel around Zurg’s head) Amoeba Slim: A nice clean shave. (As Zurg calmed down underneath the towel, he fell asleep) Hades: You three are seriously gonna shave him? Amoeba Bossman: Shave him? Ace: That’s what you just said you were gonna do. (To the Gangreen Gang) Right? Gangreen Gang except Ace: Yeah. (Amoeba Bossman then started singing while Hades walked away) Hades: I’m going to get a drink. Amoeba Bossman: Oh, a pirate’s life Is a wonderful life A-sailin’ over the sea Give me a career As a.... (At the same time Amoeba Bossman was singing, a seagull was flying by, when it noticed Zurg’s towel-wrapped head, and thinking it’s a nest, it laid on it. After it landed on the towel, Amoeba Bossman stopped singing when Pain spoke up upon noticing the seagull along with the other mates) Pain: Uh, Bossman? Amoeba Bossman: Not now. (To Zurg) Captain, we just can’t help but notice, you’re not your usual jolly self lately. (He then covered the seagull’s butt and tail with shaving cream, thinking it’s Zurg’s shadowed face. Ace tried to explain what’s going on) Ace: Bossman, you’re actually…. Amoeba Bossman: Not now. (Amoeba Bossman then took a shaver and started singing) Amoeba Bossman: Give me a career As a buccaneer.... (As he prepared the shaver, Amoeba Bossman suddenly remembered what the crew forcefully asked him and the mates, except the Gangreen Gang, to do about leaving Dreamland, stopped singing and spoke up) Amoeba Bossman: And the crew’s getting really impatient, Captain. Amoeba Slim: That is, what’s left of them. (Amoeba Bossman then shaved the seagull’s butt and tail clean of it’s feathers. Annoyed by the Amoeba Boys’ idiotic method of shaving the seagull instead of Zurg’s shadowed face, the mates tried to speak up again) Mates except the Amoeba Boys: Amoeba Boys, you’re shaving the…! Amoeba Bossman: (Getting angry and annoyed) Not now! (He calmed down and spoke to Zurg again) Amoeba Bossman: So why don’t we just sail away? Leave Dreamland and forget Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas? (Amoeba Bossman then rubbed aftershave on his hands and patted the seagull’s butt with it. After he was done, the seagull bolted awake and after seeing it’s naked butt and tail, flew away, squawking in embarrassment) Amoeba Bossman: Oh, come on, Captain. Don’t cry. We’ll be more happier after that. Amoeba Slim: Not to mention a whole lot healthier. (Amoeba Bossman then puts some shaving powder on his hands and begins to pat his hands in the air while he is about to sing) Mates except the Amoeba Boys: AMOEBA BOYS!!!! Amoeba Boys: WHAT?! (The Amoeba Boys noticed the seagull’s gone) Amoeba Bossman: Captain?! Oh my gosh!! I never shaved him this close before! Warp: Well, if you had payed attention.... Amoeba Bossman: Shut up and look around for his head! (As Amoeba Bossman crawled on the floor, searching for the head, his back picked up the chair and the rocking made the towel fall off of Zurg’s head. He woke up suddenly and after looking around in confusion, he noticed Amoeba Bossman, searching around like an idiot, and got annoyed and angry) Zurg: Get up, you idiot! (Amoeba Bossman bolted to his feet, knocking Zurg and the chair aside. The mates noticed and they, except the Amoeba Boys, got shocked) Amoeba Bossman: (Saluting) Aye-aye, sir! (He and the other Amoeba Boys heard the chair crash down on the deck and noticed Zurg and the chair landed on the other side where Hades and the other crew members are. They got confused at first, but they became curious on what happened when the mates arrived down there, shouting in concern for their captain. Hades, however, had a feeling something happened) Ruggedo: What’s going on? Brer Bear: And why did the captain fall down and go boom? Braig: We told you to tell him about us leaving now! Hades: (Confused) Tell us what? Warp: Well, it’s hard to explain.... (The Amoeba Boys went up to a dizzy Zurg, thinking he found his head) Amoeba Bossman: He’s fine! Good as new! (Amoeba Bossman grabbed Zurg’s face when the captain snapped out of his dizzyness, got up, took the blanket off and grabbed the Amoeba Boys, making the crew shocked) Zurg: (To the Amoeba Boys) You brainless idiots! (Zurg was about to punch them when the crew screamed out at him to stop while Hades was surprised) Ace: Chill, Captain! (Zurg stopped and got confused) Zurg: What? (He drops the Amoeba Boys) Hades: Just what’s going on here? What do you mean “tell us?” Lasombra: Let’s just say we want to leave Dreamland! (Zurg and Hades got confused) Zurg and Hades: What? Warp: You heard him! Pain: The crew is edgy because we want to leave and go back to being pirates. Pete: They have a point. (Among the crew, a human middle-aged man that resembles a hippie, is drinking a lot of alcoholic beer in his mug. He is Punch-Out Guru, the alcoholic drunk member of the crew. As this happened, the crew shouted their agreement with Pete. Zurg and Hades then got sarcastic) Zurg: (Sarcastically) Very well. If that’s your decision. Hades: (Sarcastically) If that’s what you want. (Warp hands Zurg his cape and Zurg accepted it and puts it on) Zurg and Hades: Not happening yet! (The crew groaned in anger) Hades: What’s wrong with you?! (The crew quieted down. Hades then calmed down and with Zurg, spoke up in a positive way) Hades: If you help us kill Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas, we shall reward you with treasure. Zurg: But all you have to do is do what we say. Thrax: (Skeptically) Really? Zurg and Hades: Really. Man Ray: Let’s just sail away for all I care. Zurg: Really? Hades: Let’s just say we have a plan. Crew except Punch-Out Guru: (Confused) A plan? Warp: Me and the other mates were told of this plan. Mates except Warp: (Agreeing) Yeah. Amoeba Bossman: Tell them. Zurg: Hades and I plan to kidnap Tuptim and Prince Chulalongkorn of the Siamese and persuade them into telling us where Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas’ hideout is. (The crew is now starting to become convinced by the plan) Hades: And when we find out, we’ll maroon them both, find those three bratty boys, and kill them and their friends. Zurg and Hades: And as we promise, we’ll leave Dreamland for good! (The crew cheered. After taking a Napoleon Bonaparte-like hat from Ace and putting it on, Zurg threw his cape in the air and with Hades, then started singing) Zurg: From the brains That brought you The Omnivore Cove Caper Hades: The heads that made headlines Throughout all of Dreamland newspapers Zurg: And wondrous things like The Mermaid Lagoon job That cunning display That made Dreamlanders sob Hades: Now comes the real tour de force Zurg: Tricky and wicked of course (Punch-Out Guru took another beer bottle and while refilling repeatedly, drank it all up from his mug) Zurg and Hades: Our earlier crimes Were fine for our times But now we’re at it again An even grimmer plot Has been simmering In our great criminal brains Crew: Even meaner You mean it Worse than the widows and orphans You drowned You’re the best of the worst around Oh Zurg Oh Hades The rest fall behind To Zurg To Hades Dreamland’s greatest criminal minds (Then Hades played on a harp with Zurg standing next to him) Hades: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn’t all been champagne and caviar. Zurg: Yes. We’ve had our share of adversity. Hades: Thanks to those miserable second-rate brats, Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas! (They leered at the pictures of Sora, Riku, and Roxas on the wall, covered with darts) Crew: Boo! Zurg: (Fake sobbing) For years, those insufferable brats has interfered with our plans. And we haven’t had a moment’s piece of mind. Crew: Aw…. (Punch-Out Guru then briefly sobbed uncontrollably a little) Hades: But all of that’s in the past! Zurg: This time, nothing, not even Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas, can stop us! Zurg and Hades: All will bow down before us! Crew: Oh Zurg Oh Hades You’re tops and that’s that To Zurg To Hades (Then all of a sudden, Punch-Out Guru finally sang out loud drunkenly) Punch-Out Guru: (Drunkenly) To both the Greatest Borgfish and Hothead (He hiccups. Suddenly, Zurg and Hades spits their wine they were drinking in horror on what Punch-Out Guru said. Even the crew was shocked) Banzai: Uh-oh. His loss. (Zurg and Hades then turned to Punch-Out Guru in anger and got up to him) Hades: What was that you said?! (Punch-Out Guru hiccups again) Zurg: What did you call us?! (The pirates tried to stand up for Punch-Out Guru) Brer Fox: He didn’t mean it, Captain Zurg and Admiral Hades! Jack: It was just the slip of his tongue indeed. (Ignoring them, Hades savagely grabs Punch-Out Guru by the neck rim of his shirt while he and Zurg yelled at him) Zurg: I AM NOT ''A BORGFISH!! Hades: AND I’M ESPECIALLY ''NOT A HOTHEAD!! Fuzzy: Course you’re not! (To the pirates) Right? (The crew agreed) Ratchet: You’re a great robot and god. Ruggedo: Yeah. A great robot and god! Zurg and Hades: Silence! (Zurg sets up the plank and Hades hangs Punch-Out Guru on the edge by his back neck rim as the crew watched) Zurg: Oh, my dear Punch-Out Guru. I’m afraid you have gone and upset us. (Hades pulls a bell out with an evil smirk) Hades: You know what happens when someone upsets me or Zurg, right? (The crew got shocked on this, for they knew what would happen to unfortunate crew members like Punch-Out Guru. Hades rang the bell and a giant black furred three-headed evil looking dog with red eyes and a panther-like tail slowly emerged from the water, ready to grab Punch-Out Guru and eat him) Punch-Out Guru: (Drunkenly) Oh Zurg Oh Hades You’re tops and that’s that (He hiccups) Punch-Out Guru: (Drunkenly) Excuse me. (He resumed singing as Cerberus picked him up over his mouth as the crew looked on in horror with the bumbling members covering their eyes and Zurg whistled calmly and Hades puffing his cigar) Punch-Out Guru: (Drunkenly) To Zurg To Hades To Zurg To Hades Dreamland’s greateeeeeest…. (Then with tear of the body and three gulps off-screen, Cerberus ate Punch-Out Guru and licked his lips. The crew calmed down and looked shocked still as Zurg and Hades petted Hades’ pet) (Imagine the bumbling crew members giving the shocked expression Spongebob and Patrick made after their Krabby Patty Car got eaten by the frogfish and then the frogfish getting eaten by the giant eel from “The Spongebob Squarepants Movie”)) Hades: (Baby talk) Oh, Cerberus, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy’s sweet beast enjoy his tasty treat? (Cerberus replied with three burps and left. Zurg and Hades then puts the plank away and went over to the front of the mast again and spoke to their crew) Zurg: We expect there will be no interruptions. Hades: Now, as we were singing.... (He motioned the bell briefly and the crew snapped out of their shocked looks and resumed their song with their captain and admiral) Crew: Even louder We’ll shout it No one can doubt What we know you can do You’re more evil than even you (Brer Fox suddenly stopped singing and dancing upon noticing something in the sky and went up to the crow’s nest) Crew: Oh Zurg Oh Hades You’re one of a kind To Zurg To Hades Dreamland’s greatest criminal miiiiiiinds (As the song concludes, Brer Fox suddenly shouted and got Zurg, Hades, and the crew’s attention) Brer Fox: Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas, ahoy! (Hearing him, Zurg, Hades, and the crew got surprised) Zurg: What?! Fire away! Brer Fox: Three points off the starboard bow! (Zurg pulls his telescope out and looked to see Sora, Riku, Roxas, Helga, and Phoebe flying towards Dreamland from afar, and they have Kayley, Kairi, Namine, Xion, Skippy, the Eds, the Powerpuff Girls, and Terriermon flying next to them) Zurg: My gosh, it is Sora Pan, Riku, and Roxas! (He hands Hades the telescope and Hades saw them too) Hades: Heading this way with some more bratty kids and a little bunny Digimon. (He and Zurg turned to their crew) Zurg and Hades: Alright, my hearty crew! Look alive! (The crew scattered into their battle positions. Zurg and Hades turned to the mates in excitement) Zurg: We got them this time, guys! Ace: Indeed! (Zurg and Hades turned to Drake and Pete as they prepared a huge cannon) Zurg and Hades: Man the Long Tom! (They turned to the mates again) Hades: We’ve waited years for this! Panic: That’s not counting the holidays, either. Snake: Ssssssuch assssss Chrisssssstmasssss? (Zurg and Hades turned to Drake and Pete again) Zurg and Hades: Double the powder and shorten the fuse! Mates: Double the powder and shorten the fuse! (Zurg looked through his telescope again to see Sora, Riku, Roxas, Helga, and Phoebe up on a faraway cloud with their new friends, showing them Dreamland) Zurg: What a sight! We’ll pot them like sitting ducks! Hades: Indeed. (They call out to the crew) Zurg: Alright! Range 42! Amoeba Boys: Range 42! Hades: Elevation 65! Amoeba Boys: Elevation 65! Zurg: (To the Amoeba Boys) Stop repeating. (He resumed his commands with Hades) Zurg and Hades: Three degrees west! Amoeba Boys: Three degrees west! Warp: (Through gritted teeth) They said stop repeating! Zurg and Hades: (Ignoring them) Steady now! Steeeeaaadddyyyyyy!! (Noticing that they are now ready to fire the cannon, the mates covered their ears, knowing how loud the cannon is) Coming up: Sora, Riku, Roxas, and their friends meet the Lost Tiny Toons and after Helga tried to kill Kayley, Kairi, Namine, and Xion, she’ll face the consequences. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Peter Pan Fanmakes Category:Peter Pan Parodies